bang

i am in pain.

the kind the is brought on by a sore throat, sniffles, an incoming ear infection and sinus migraines.

someone, please just shoot me.

...

you may travel the world, change your image, dress to the nines, make new friends and consider yourself as ms. independent... but really, who are you without the one thing you have sought after for so long?

after all this time, no matter how many facades you try to put on, i still see the lonely girl inside begging for someone to love her.

i pity you.

deprived.

i didn't realize until tonight that for the past three weeks, i have been depriving myself the company of my friends. fool that i am, i have been overly focused on work and nothing but that i've forgotten how to have a life. i haven't even bothered placing a call or two to those i deemed myself closest to.

so for tonight, i have to thank A&G for finding a way around my 'no' to come and see me. you ladies were my breathe of fresh air.

her

she was the one i gladly called my best gal pal. the one who i haven't spoken to and thought about in more than two years. yet as i was browsing an old blog i kept, tears were slowly poooling in my eyes as one memory after another reminded me of the years we've spent together.

she was my photowhore sister, my c.o.c. buddy, my spontaniety-lover of a best friend.

gosh. i never thought i'd miss her this much that it would hurt.

so for now, please indulge me as i try to let the pain i haven't felt for more than a year take over.

nostalgia

i was strolling down burrard street bundled up in my coat and scarf and holding a steaming cup of grande caramel machiatto when it finally struck me today just how much i miss downtown vancouver. the smell of rain tickled my nose as i stop at the corner of robson and stood for a few minutes to watch the rushed footsteps of business men and women trying to beat the afternoon rush.

it's been a long time since i've last stepped foot in downtown. now all i want is to become part of it again.