on being "mommy"

i love being a mommy.  even more, i love being a mommy of two boys.  at the end of my day, i am happy to plop down on my couch for a few minutes to unwind with play-dough stuck on my hair, chocolate on my cheeks, baby drool on my neck, rice cereals on my shirt and gosh knows what else my kids can get on me.

but sometimes, even mommies to two little superheroes need their down time.  

it's been a month since the hubby has started pulling off his two jobs.  that's 3 days a week where he is gone for a solid 16 hours, another 3 days where he pulls off his 8 hour shifts and sunday, as his rest day.  i find it a tad irritating that everyone seems to ask how he is handling having two jobs... how it is affecting his health, his social life, his sleeping patterns, his "me time" and his time for his family.  please, do not get me wrong.  i love and appreciate the hubby for doing what needs to get done in order to ensure his family is financially secured but sometimes.......................

i wish someone could ask me how i was doing.  how am i doing handling two kids by myself for 16 hours a day.  how is this affecting my health, my social life, my sleeping patterns, my "me time" and most importantly, my sanity.  i wish i am able to explain it to all that my job as a homemaker is truly that --- i am 24/7 on these children.  i have no breaks, no lunch hours, my sleep at night is disturbed for feeding breaks and sometimes, all i want to do is to have someone to intervene and kick me out of the house for an hour just so i can get a little breather... go to a starbucks for my favorite drink and pick up a magazine to read.  would you laugh when i tell you that i cannot even leave this children to catch a movie without causing a major scene?  dylan cries so much that he ends up regurgitating everything he eats and kaelan refuses to feed from a bottle which makes it even more difficult to leave him anywhere, much less to anyone.

but let me clarify, if i can please.  i am not complaining.  really, i'm not.  if anything, ever since my hubby has started his two jobs, i have gained a whole lot of respect for stay-at-home mom's out there who does not have much or any help at all.  it's a tough job.  a job that requires us to be constant in our discipline, lavish in our praises, clear in our communication, and loving, always loving no matter what.  and patience --- don't even get me started on that.

but you know, at the end of the day, even when i would be wanting to tear my hair out when both kids have done nothing but act up, i still feel so lucky because my boys love me --- unconditionally.  i get hugs out of nowhere... "i love you"'s screamed at me from the other room... drool-filled wet kisses at all times... cuddles at nap time... tickling sessions at bed time... silly made-up stories and games at bath time... my list goes on and on and on....

currently, i am the center of their universe and i plan to make the most of that.  but these two boys who are so precious to my heart, will forever be the center of mine.

movies galore

for the first time in months (yes, months!)

i was finally able to get my act together

and catch a couple movies i've been dying to see.

i had a date with both my hubby and baby brother

to see the final chapter of Harry Potter

though i will not review the movie

i will just say that it was a bittersweet ending.

my brother was right-on when he said he was a tad sad

for it was like saying goodbye to his childhood

for he grew up in the Harry Potter era.

then on saturday

because the hubby felt cheated that i got to watch my movie

and he hasn't had his pick in ages

off we went to see transformers!

i'm a bit of a boy when it comes to movies.

i like them big, bad and all blown up!

i love fight scenes and guns (as much as i love romance!).

seeing transformers in 3D just made me appreciate it all the more.

i couldn't get over the graphic details of this movie.

it was a terrific weekend filled with movies.

which is so rare for us these days.

before we had kids, i think we watched everything in the theatre.

now it's a treat for us to be able to go at all!

my boys and i

this is week 3 of the hubby being back to work

after a 2.5 month hiatus.

although sometimes i'd like to tear my hair out

and cry myself over tantrums, spilled milk,

a hungry crying baby and a dirty diaper

or to even put myself in the corner for two minutes

for feeling badly about having to put my dylan in time out,

i still try to remember that the good days always outweigh the bad.

like dylan apologizing before i even lose my temper

for something he has done and he knows he shouldn't.

or kaelan cooing and babbling when his kuya (older brother)

is trying to talk to him.

or waking up after a long nap

to find dylan has moved to kaelan's side of the bed

so that he can hug his baby brother and seeing them both fast asleep.

yes, good days definitely outweigh the bad.

and though the three of us are missing their daddy.

i find that sometimes, it's great to have one less boy in the house.

it's one less gray hair on this mommy's head!

pages of my life

in the process of clearing out our storage room

i opened a long-forgotten box filled with some of my childhood memorabilia.

letters from friends in elementary, birthday cards,
high school photos, dried flowers from prom...

each one triggered a memory of days gone by

that brought an instant smile to my face.

inside this big box, i found a smaller box.

hidden in its recess were journals... my journals

counting back from my very first, given by my mama and papa

for my 11th birthday.

it started with `dear diary...` 

and for years i kept on writing...
from tears to triumphs

friendships formed and loves lost

from writing about my day to ranting about a horrid event

these pages formed so much of my life

that i am able to see such a transformation from a little girl

to a grown woman.

my last journal ended in 2002, the year i met my hubby (go figure)

and i did take a break from writing.  

so much so that it took me years to get back again.

but this time, i blogged.
i opened my very first blog with xanga back in 2004
(which is now closed with it`s pages archived)
and my love of writing has resurfaced.

this current blog of mine has been opened since 2009
but prior to that, i have had other entries as far back as 2007
that i have wholeheartedly integrated into this site.

i have been asked multiple times why i blogged.
and why i would want to share so many details of my life
to people who are unknown to me.

my answer is always the same.
i blog for myself --- not for my readers
(though all of you are the delicious cherries on top!)

i blog for the love of writing.
i blog because i have two beautiful little boys and a loving husband
and i want to be able to jot down simple moments
that i will forever treasure with them.
i blog because it`s a reaffirmation of the life i live
and that i am so thankful for each of the blessings that come my way.
i blog when i need to vent, when i need to cry, when i need to laugh and just because.

at the end of this year, this blog will be printed in journal format.
i will add it to my collection of diaries
but this time, with the sole purpose that my little boys
will pull it out from their bookshelf and read of my love for them.

because that is the exact purpose of my blog.
it`s an open love letter to my two most precious little loves.


*pictures via weheartit*

it has been so hot lately...

that on a daily basis i have been craving bubble tea.

and not just any bubble tea.

i have to drag the whole family and drive a solid half hour

just to go to my most favorite bubble tea shop of all.

it seems they are the only one who serves my addiction.

CAPPUCCINO ICE CREAM BUBBLE TEA.

***drools***

seriously, no other shop has it.

and i should know.

i have been ordering the same thing from them 

since i was in grade 9 (when they first opened!)

and that was a good 13 years ago!!!

watermelon & avocado on a super hot vancouver day

mommy's night out

a good friend of mine called a few days ago

her opening line was something close to this...

"uhm, what are you doing friday night?
are you like free for three or so hours...

can you leave the kids with kady and he won't mind?

coz i got tickets to the rihanna concert!!!"

uhhh, yeah.  like i was going to turn down THAT invitation?

not only do i get to hang out and bond

with one of the greatest mommies (and diaper cake designer!) that i know of

but i get to put make-up, jewelry and a bit of heels on!!!

(only mommies will know what i mean on this one)

neens and i rockin' the curly hair and pearly whites

least to say, these two momma's had a fantastic time

singing and dancing our hearts out

at a jam-packed rogers arena

so we left with sore throats, hurting feet and near-deaf ears

but it was a price worth paying for

to get a few hours of girl time...

i need more nights like this one!!!

multitasker me

what is this mommy up to at 11:30pm???

cleaning the house (putting away mess)
baking muffins for dylan's last day of school
putting together a "thank you" present for dylan's teacher
sorting & folding laundry
actually still doing laundry (2 more loads!)
putting dylan to sleep
feeding kaelan so he can sleep

facebook-ing

blogging

making coffee so i can stay up

what are you up to at 11:30pm???

randomness...

silly chubby feet

and not to mention very hairy legs

in pink flip-flops

  

have i mentioned this is not my feet?

it's actually the hubby's! (yes, you read that right!)

we went for a walk to the waterpark and he wore new shoes

and those shoes hurt his feet badly... very badly

so what did we do?  SWITCH!

(too bad i didn't get a picture of his big shoes on my feet!)

i love a man who can wear pink.

be it a shirt, tie or some very girly flip-flops!

on another random thought.....

have you ever played this game?

i have not hooted and hollered in laughter in a while over a game

(and i have a love of cranium!)

but pass the pig was a blast

especially if you are playing for some moolah!

and lastly.....

with summer upon us

rompers just might be my most favourite outfit for the season!

i have these two which i just happen to love

and which i happen to wear almost every time we step out of the house!

yes, they are that darned comfy and airy!

not to mention summery!

what are your randoms for today?

i can't wait......

..... but then, can you???

the teeny bopper in me is squealing it's head off over this new trailer.  

i cannot (and i stress CANNOT) wait to catch this movie 

even if it means going on a weekday morning 

to the Stars and Strollers movie times!!!

forgive the twi-hard fan in me, will you?

a parent's prayer...

Help Me give my children the best... not of trappings or toys,

but of myself, cherishing them on good days and bad, theirs and mine.

Teach Me to accept them for who they are, not for what they do;

to listen to what they say, if only so they will listen to me; to encourage

their goals, not mine; and please, let me laugh with them and be silly.

Let Me give them a home where respect is the cornerstone,

integrity the foundation, and there is enough happiness to raise the roof.

May I give them the courage to be true to themselves;

the independence to take care of themselves

and the faith to believe in a power much greater than their own.

See That I discipline my children without demeaning them,

demand good manners without forgetting my own

and let them know they have limitless love, no matter what they do.

Let Me feed them properly, clothe them adequately and have enough to give

them small allowances... not for the work they do but the pleasure they bring...

and let me be moderate in all these things,

so the joy of getting will help them discover the joy of giving.

See that their responsibilities are real but not burdensome,

that my expectations are high but not overwhelming

and that my thanks and praise are thoughtful and given when they're due.

Help me teach them that excellence is work's real reward,

and not the glory it brings. But when it comes.. and it will.. let me

revel in each honor, however small, without once pretending

that it's mine; my children are glories enough.

Above all, let me ground these children so well that I can

dare to let them go.

And may they be so blessed.

by Marguerite Kelly

back to blogging!

the previous week has been the busiest we have been since baby k arrived.

with family in town from toronto,

we have spent the last week being tourists in our own city

and have been cooking and eating up a storm.

i will get the updates in once i have a chance to get all photos uploaded.

for now, here's one taken at shannon falls.

pretty in... yellow?

yellow has never been my color.

you can dress me in hot pink, lime green and even orange if need be

but yellow???

but then last week as i was browsing around the mall

i chanced upon this very pretty eyelet skirt

and i just couldn't pass up on it

it had that very springy/summery, light and airy feel to it

and i just fell in love.

so now i own something yellow and it's hanging front and center in my closet.

oh-so-swoon-worthy

i'm a 27 year old pregnant woman lusting after this gorgeous piece of specimen.

ok.........

now that i got that out of the way, please forgive my teeny-boppiness for this post but i just can't get over a dream i had this morning.

let's just say that i was able to re-live Bella's view of of Breaking Dawn........ all the way up to the honeymoon scene with this mr-oh-so-drool-worthy-i-will-drop-my-panties-just-for-you-edward-cullen.  

seriously, all the downsides of pregnancy just went out the window when the biggest bonus is having a very... let me stress that,  VERY VIVID INTIMATE dream that feels much too real and gets your senses all messed up.  

i am going to have a very happy saturday :)  i hope yours is just as good!

little big boy... with his own room!

over the last few days, we have been busy purchasing and putting together some new items for my little man's room.  we finally bought him his "big boy bed" and also a few storage units for his toy collections.  on my list of upcoming "things to buy" is a book case, some shelving and maybe a few minimalistic decorations.

i'm so thankful for ikea as we are able to snag some great buys with his bed and storage!  i spent so much less than what i originally planned and cannot wait for the finished results.  i'm hoping we're done prior to baby #2's arrival... this is our special way of easing the little man into his new phase of life as "Kuya" (big brother).  

as it is, he is spending his very first night alone in his own room.  i'm kind of anxious about it as we have always kept him on our bed these last two years.  i'm sure i'll be wandering over to his bedroom sometime tonight and will be slipping in beside him for some shut-eye (this is the reason we bought him a twin bed instead of the originally planned toddler bed!).

on the topic of room decorations, i was browsing etsy yesterday and fell madly in love with some beautiful children's prints by TRAFALGAR SQUARE.  here are a few of my favourites...

  

i am seriously enthralled by all the prints in their shop and am planning on purchasing a few for my boy's room.  wouldn't that just be lovely?  i'm hoping to snag these four to begin with... and build from there.

it's just like winning the lottery!

back in January, Kary hosted a fabulous first giveaway that i was lucky enough to win!

I NEVER WIN ANYTHING... so imagine my surprise when her gorgeous miguelito pulled my name out of this beautiful red heart-shaped bin and later announced MY name!  i was in serious shock and had to repeat the video again and again just to make sure i was hearing the right thing.

about a week or so ago, the package arrived at my mom's address and i was able to pick it up from her just this weekend.  imagine my excitement at this beautifully wrapped package...

i was trying to be sooooo good and not rip the packaging but just couldn't help myself!  inside the box was first a card that i ripped through... kary, i just have to say I LOVE YOU!!!  :)  your letter was heartfelt and i loved it!

and finally, the goodies!!!

thank you kary, for giving me a chance to feel like a million bucks with my new fuzzy slippers, wallet, earrings and necklace!  i can't wait to have the opportunity to fancy my outfit with any of these items!!!

it's about time!

i've been awake since 4:30 am today cooking up a storm for our friends who are helping us move.  that's both breakfast AND lunch!

excited, much?

you bet i am!

see you all in a couple of days!!!!

4 days until the move!

it has been an extremely busy few days in our little household.  with the sorting, packing up, shopping and making necessary calls for the update in our address, i haven't even had a chance to catch up with all you lovelies!

i have almost forgotten how hard moving can be... almost.  

to give you a sense of our small and humble abode, below are a couple of photos from the previous tenants.  

kitchen/dining room

our patio (bottom floor)

i just love how small and cozy the place is!  i am not one to live in a big house because seriously, i would never be able to keep things neat and clean!  but a small two bedroom is perfect enough for me.  i can just imagine us spending much time outside in the patio for bbq's in the summer.  what i love even more is that right across from it is the playground in an elementary school!

once we have moved and settled in, i have a big surprise for my wonderful followers!  i can't wait to get things together for that --- hopefully very soon!

9 days to pack!

with a new baby on the way, the husband and i figured that we needed to move to a slightly bigger place on a more convenient location.  after i quit my job last year to be a stay-home mom, we moved back to my parent's home for a teeny bit to get our bearings together and figure out where best to move to.  after a couple of months looking around, we found a condo 30 minutes away from our family and instantly fell in love.

we toured four units in this building.  FOUR!!!  the first three landlords wanted us to take over their unit but we turned them down for different reasons.  the worse being that one of the landlords did not know what they were doing it all!  when we were just about to give up on this location, one last unit opened up and we decided to try our luck one more time --- it seems that 4 is our lucky number!

we secured a beautiful 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 year old ground level suite with it's own patio.  right across the street is an elementary school with a program for non-school-aged children and a playground to die for.  we are blocks away from a waterpark, grocery, malls and there is a bus stop two minutes away from the house.  transportation is as easy as 1, 2, 3... (as we only have one car) so it will make it easy for me to get anywhere with two kids!

now, i only have 9 days to pack 2 years worth of toys, clothes and paraphernalia.  we closed the deal today and signed the one-year lease.  we also went out to purchase some much-needed items for the home... least to say, my budget is blown out the window but wow... WHAT A GREAT FEELING!!!  at least we were able to purchase the "must-have's" --- a couch, a mattress of the little man, bar stools, pillows and duvets.  next week we go for a kitchen shopping trip!

it's an exciting time for my little family.  we are moving on the 13th and i cannot wait!  best of all, the new place will be fully ready for when baby #2 arrives.  i truly am very excited for this upcoming move!!!

photos via weheartit

my little man says the darndest things!

at 4pm today, this is the conversation that went on between my almost two year old and i.

me: dylan, clean up all your toys! put them back in the wagon. i don't want to see anything on the floor!

dylan: (looks at me and starts cleaning up) mommy mad.

me: yes, i'm mad. i have to clean up after you more than 3x a day. put all your toys back where they belong.

dylan: (puts everything back, comes back to me) mommy, kiss! (he proceeds to give me tons of kisses and hugs... then laughs). mommy no mad!

*i smiled after this... and laughed.  how can i resist such a cutie little boy who knows how to work me around his little pinkie?*

the wedding ring

months ago, i posted my love of my wedding ring on this certain post.

my little man has gotten into the habit of pulling off my wedding ring every chance he gets.  he loves taking it from me wearing it on his middle finger while showing it off and saying "pretty".  he normally places the ring back on one of my fingers and i normally keep a very watchful eye when he has it.

except a few weeks ago....... (before christmas to be exact).

i just wasn't paying enough attention to him.  or maybe i was reading something and didn't realize that he gave it back?  i'm not sure... but it has been weeks since i have seen and worn my wedding band.  

we have searched the house high and low... looked at every nook and cranny and we still have not found it.  i am not even sure if we can find it at this stage.  

i am utterly devastated.  the hubby said that i should we should get my original engagement ring and band resized so i can wear that but i am so attached to this one... after all, i have been wearing it for the five years we have been married.  he even suggested picking out a new ring for me... but my beautiful band is not replaceable.... not even with its imperfections, dents and most of all, the memories it carries from my five year union with the hubby.

i pray that i find my ring soon!