on being "mommy"

i love being a mommy.  even more, i love being a mommy of two boys.  at the end of my day, i am happy to plop down on my couch for a few minutes to unwind with play-dough stuck on my hair, chocolate on my cheeks, baby drool on my neck, rice cereals on my shirt and gosh knows what else my kids can get on me.

but sometimes, even mommies to two little superheroes need their down time.  

it's been a month since the hubby has started pulling off his two jobs.  that's 3 days a week where he is gone for a solid 16 hours, another 3 days where he pulls off his 8 hour shifts and sunday, as his rest day.  i find it a tad irritating that everyone seems to ask how he is handling having two jobs... how it is affecting his health, his social life, his sleeping patterns, his "me time" and his time for his family.  please, do not get me wrong.  i love and appreciate the hubby for doing what needs to get done in order to ensure his family is financially secured but sometimes.......................

i wish someone could ask me how i was doing.  how am i doing handling two kids by myself for 16 hours a day.  how is this affecting my health, my social life, my sleeping patterns, my "me time" and most importantly, my sanity.  i wish i am able to explain it to all that my job as a homemaker is truly that --- i am 24/7 on these children.  i have no breaks, no lunch hours, my sleep at night is disturbed for feeding breaks and sometimes, all i want to do is to have someone to intervene and kick me out of the house for an hour just so i can get a little breather... go to a starbucks for my favorite drink and pick up a magazine to read.  would you laugh when i tell you that i cannot even leave this children to catch a movie without causing a major scene?  dylan cries so much that he ends up regurgitating everything he eats and kaelan refuses to feed from a bottle which makes it even more difficult to leave him anywhere, much less to anyone.

but let me clarify, if i can please.  i am not complaining.  really, i'm not.  if anything, ever since my hubby has started his two jobs, i have gained a whole lot of respect for stay-at-home mom's out there who does not have much or any help at all.  it's a tough job.  a job that requires us to be constant in our discipline, lavish in our praises, clear in our communication, and loving, always loving no matter what.  and patience --- don't even get me started on that.

but you know, at the end of the day, even when i would be wanting to tear my hair out when both kids have done nothing but act up, i still feel so lucky because my boys love me --- unconditionally.  i get hugs out of nowhere... "i love you"'s screamed at me from the other room... drool-filled wet kisses at all times... cuddles at nap time... tickling sessions at bed time... silly made-up stories and games at bath time... my list goes on and on and on....

currently, i am the center of their universe and i plan to make the most of that.  but these two boys who are so precious to my heart, will forever be the center of mine.