hick! to the e

so the whole family was gathered around the dinner table chit-chatting after dinner when my mom stood up to clear clear her dish. she was standing right across from my brother when *this* conversation started ---

mama: *gasps* david! is THAT a hickey?
david: *looks sheepish, grins, and suddenly smiles brightly*
kady & elaine: *looks at his neck with wide eyes*
mama: OMG! it IS a hickey! DAVID! papa, come here! look at david's hickey!
david: i guess there's no point hiding it anymore, i'll take my jacket off now.
papa: *comes over & looks*
david: this is really nothing compared to what i have given her
mama: ha! you should've seen the one your papa used to give me!
me: ewwww mom, we didn't want to know that!

... and so goes the conversation

x.s. now i wonder WHO the gf is?!?

...

i've been moody lately. much too moody.

and i feel that itch coming on again.

the one that says i need a change.... of environment, of attitude, of everything.

and what's worse is i can't confide in anyone because even i don't know what i want.

4 months to this exact date

just because i can be super lame about this whole thing, i decided to start a countdown for my upcoming vacation this year. i mean, come-on... when was the last time i went on vaca? that was October of 2006! so this vaca is LONG overdue.

so where are we goin this year?

SIN CITY.

i can't wait for the lights, the flair, the entertainment & the booze to keep me on my toes for six glorious days in the middle of the desert.

LAS VEGAS, here we come!!!!

so i say this

a beautiful and smart friend once said to me that to be strong does not necessarily mean that you have to stand on your own and hold your ground, but to be strong also means that you hold onto your beliefs and stay where you are and let life throw it's worse at you.

i believe her. because no matter what she thinks of herself, she IS strong. and whatever insecurities she has, i will be there to tell her otherwise.

so i say this now to her: you are beautiful, smart, wonderful and though you think you are not physically perfect, it is in those imperfections that we find the YOU who is standing in front of us, a loyal friend, a lending ear, and shoulder to cry on. and though you think less of yourself, i personally think the world of you, because it is in your vulnerability that i find your strength emerging, a quiet confidence that though you may not notice, we see based on your decisions and actions.

so walk with pride and with your chin up. no one will ever be able to hurt you with their words anymore. especially if you believe in yourself.

me likes...

i just happen to luck out at work and was able to snag two tickets to tonight's Michael Buble concert. i think it's safe to say that we all know him because of "Home" but that concert blew my mind. he was a charming crooner who knocked my socks off. i especially loved the fact that half the songs he sang were music i grew up with and was able to sing along to. i decided to take my mom to this event and she was in awe of his musical talent. if i say i heart Buble, times that by 10 and that's her.

at times like these, i miss the fact that i used to sing.

and we're back to it...

i'm at work right now yet i don't feel like working.

.
.
.
.
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can you tell just how bored i am?

on a low note

if there is one thing that turns me off more than anything else, it's dishonesty. so please try and stop as sooner or later, i find out things that you don't want me knowing in the first place. which of course, causes me more grief because i know i've been lied to or as you would most likey say "lied to by process of ommission" .... which will lead me to the conclusion that you must think that i'm stupid or an idiot and will proceed to make me rethink what you are doing in my life in the first place.

so do me a favour, better yet, do yourself a favour and just come straight out with what you have to say rather than slipping in the later days... and trust me, you've been caught a few dozen times already.

_______________________________________

on a better note, i hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and that you didn't stuff yourselves with too much turkey and mashed potatoes.

blue flame

i seem to have taken an averse dislike for tequila. on friday night's get-together, i was uber happy that Jose was there to keep the party going but on my first shot, i just couldn't seem to down him at all.

i feel exactly like leah does, outrageously nauseous at the smell of the alcohol in it.

now i wonder, how the hell am i going to drink next friday night?!?

junk in a box

yesterday, in the process of looking for a box of pajamas somewhere in our storage, i stumbled upon another box which i have not seen for a long time. i was hooting and screaming with laughter when the curious husband decided to see what i was doing and came in the bedroom and saw that i have filled half of our bed with what he called "junk".

this "junk" is probably one of my most treasured possessions. four diaries that date back to as far as 1994. notes & letters from my elementary and high school days. cards from my family who constantly wrote to me when i left manila. a birthday card my dad sent the year he was away in Saudi Arabia. a scrapbook filled with photos. an old "autograph" book. memories upon memories upon memories worth of "junk".

it seems that almost half of my life was laying quietly in that box, waiting for it to be opened and walked through. i cannot believe how many memories stumbled in my mind upon slowly going through the contents. and because i feel like reminiscing ---

- my first kiss with harold on our "wedding day"
- justine & i and our drama in grade six... not being in the same class is tough and a little "heart-to-heart" was needed to clear up some air
- crushing on stephen g. & that "almost" kiss we shared when my silly brother interrupted
- there was the randy, nino, henry, riel, chris, ivan & jason phase
- the drama with the 'ex' best friends

and so on... and so forth...

with the upcoming new year, it's kind of nice to be able to go and backtrack through my life and see how much i've grown up. from the days of "dear diary" to "hey journal" to "aloha xangans" and now to my "blogger readers", i see that i'm still trying to ensure that my life is stamped and solidified through all these memories.

the question now is, DO YOU?

he's "NOT" drunk

on saturday night, BPI held it's christmas party at the sutton place hotel where there was great live music, good food & even better desserts, and an open bar. as the hubby and i did not bother checking into the hotel for the night, i decided that for the first time, i will be the designated driver & let the hubby enjoy his night with his new-found best friend, mike.

after a few shots of baccardi & JD, the hubby was feeling more "happy" than usual. by the end of the night, i lost count after 12 shots and he still kept on. when it was mentioned to him that he was drunk, his infamous reply was "I'm not drunk, i'm just funny".

*sigh* --- i've never seen him THIS bad. and to think i had to lug him all the way home.

bang

i am in pain.

the kind the is brought on by a sore throat, sniffles, an incoming ear infection and sinus migraines.

someone, please just shoot me.

...

you may travel the world, change your image, dress to the nines, make new friends and consider yourself as ms. independent... but really, who are you without the one thing you have sought after for so long?

after all this time, no matter how many facades you try to put on, i still see the lonely girl inside begging for someone to love her.

i pity you.

deprived.

i didn't realize until tonight that for the past three weeks, i have been depriving myself the company of my friends. fool that i am, i have been overly focused on work and nothing but that i've forgotten how to have a life. i haven't even bothered placing a call or two to those i deemed myself closest to.

so for tonight, i have to thank A&G for finding a way around my 'no' to come and see me. you ladies were my breathe of fresh air.

her

she was the one i gladly called my best gal pal. the one who i haven't spoken to and thought about in more than two years. yet as i was browsing an old blog i kept, tears were slowly poooling in my eyes as one memory after another reminded me of the years we've spent together.

she was my photowhore sister, my c.o.c. buddy, my spontaniety-lover of a best friend.

gosh. i never thought i'd miss her this much that it would hurt.

so for now, please indulge me as i try to let the pain i haven't felt for more than a year take over.

nostalgia

i was strolling down burrard street bundled up in my coat and scarf and holding a steaming cup of grande caramel machiatto when it finally struck me today just how much i miss downtown vancouver. the smell of rain tickled my nose as i stop at the corner of robson and stood for a few minutes to watch the rushed footsteps of business men and women trying to beat the afternoon rush.

it's been a long time since i've last stepped foot in downtown. now all i want is to become part of it again.

it's a monogamous marriage except...

i once had a conversation with the hubby that went along the lines of how truly faithful and loyal we are to each other. the topic was brought about when in the midst of watching one of my korean flicks, i mentioned to the hubby just how gorgeous i find the leading man to be. i went on to say that IF there ever comes a time that i look the other way and throw caution to the wind, it will be because...

(a) it is with this guy: daniel henney or
(b) it is because the guy looks exactly like the answer in letter a

in reply, the hubby asked for my forgiveness in the off-chance that he strays but there is no way that he will ever turn down jessica alba if she wanted him.

i guess this means i never have to entertain the thought of either of us leaving each other for another.

climbing the corporate ladder (part deux)

it is with even more pleasure that i announce...

that the hubby has accepted the Customer Service Team Lead position at Canadian Springs Water Company, where he has invested hours of hard work in the past 8 months.

congratulations go out to my hubby who i am extremely proud of. he's come a long way from his days at the shoe warehouse!

too much is too much

let me keep this short and sweet.

9.5 shots of tequila + 3 shots of baccardi = the toilet being my best friend.

i spent half the day regurgitating everything i downed last night.

on the up side, we found out that cranium is the best couples night game and will be spending more time with it.

good times. *sigh*. such good times.

give me some of that water!

there seems to be something in the water these days that acquaintances of mine, both left and right, seem to be getting themselves pregnant or are in the process of having a stork delivering a baby to their door. i have to say that whenever i see the happy faces of these women, i can't help but feel a pang of anxiety shooting straight to my heart which i can only define as one word: jealousy.

for more than a year now, the hubby and i have been seriously trying for a baby. my meaning of serious of course --- is absolutely no protection, counting the days of my monthly friend and pretty much hitting the sack every other day when i am most fertile. at the rate we've been going, a kady or elaine junior should have been due sometime this year. it's unfortunate because that's not the case.

so for now, i take pleasure in hearing the news of happy mommies and daddies looking forward to their first baby, attending baby showers and slowly traipsing down the baby aisles of each store i come across... dreaming of the day when i get to design my own baby room and fight over the names of the upcoming bundle.

but then again, with my new job, i don't think a baby is in the plans....
on the other hand.... *sigh* fine, if anyone comes across another pregnancy, please make sure to save me some of that water you've been having lately.

climbing the corporate ladder

it is with much pleasure that i announce ----

that you are now looking at the Admnistrative Assistant to Boston Pizza International's Vice President of Finance and General Council.

*takes a bow*

thank you very much.