15 weeks and 3 days to go...

... or so my baby countdown says.

I am ecstatic to be having another baby boy on the way.  I have always wanted to have a little boy that when Dylan was born, I was beyond the moon.  When we found out that we are being blessed with another boy, I could not help but be giddy about it.  Two little boys!  I am going to have a blast of a time with them.  I am already thinking of hockey and swimming lessons... kumon classes and the wonders of letting them explore this world.  

And then it hit me today... I will never have a little girl.

Someone to dress up like a live doll, curl her hair, play house with and giggle over silly girly things with.  Someone who will play dress-up in my closet or who will love pink and summery dresses and convince me to put nail polish on her at the age of five.  I will never be able to plan her debutante ball (a traditional 18th birthday party celebration for our culture) or be able to partake in the planning of her wedding.

I will never have that beautiful little girl who will wrap up her daddy, my hubby, in her tiny little fingers.

Don't get me wrong.  I will FOREVER LOVE my boys and will FOREVER BE THANKFUL for them.

But now..... now I am feeling the twinges of sadness that I just might not get that little girl as we have only ever planned for two.

on a side note:i think i will be working extra hard on convincing the hubby these next few years that Baby #3 should definitely be considered!  wouldn't it be just wonderful for my two boys to have a baby sister?